Cocotaso

My parents are here. They are habla-ing with Maria in Spanish. She is answering them in English. It takes a few days for her Latina wiring to spark up.

So glad they’re here. La nena can be whiney and defiant when she isn’t charming and easy-going. The grandparental distraction will be good for both of us.

Maria’s recent acts of independence, and the abuelos being here, have reminded me of the things my parents used to say to me when I was less than charming and easy-going. (Which was often):

“Te voy a dar un cocotaso.”
“Te voy a sumbar al otro lado.”
“Te voy a dar un sanganaso.”
“Que nalgada te voy a dar.”

If I dared to translate them all the non-Spanish-speaking reader would think the Cubans I sprang from are coo-coo. Indeed, they are. Colorful too. But, cocotaso, my favorite among the parental threats of bodily harm, is kind of like “I’m going to crack your noggin.’’ Coco in Spanish is coconut and it’s also slang for “your hard-ass head.”

How sad to admit that I hadn’t thought of cocotaso in so long. Now that Maria makes me quietly mutter naughty words, the word popped into my head and jumped out of my mouth so quickly it took me by surprise. Maria giggled and grinned and repeated the word as if she were swirling fine wine around her tongue.

I rapped lightly on her head. “Cocotaso, I tell you. Cocotaso.’’
She cracked up and laughed that delicious toddler laugh. “Cocotaso, Mami. That’s funny, Mami.’’

I do not believe Maria will have these colorful, albeit admittedly violent, Cubanisms to repeat to her own children. So far, the sumbar and the nalgaso and the cocotaso just haven’t flowed from me to her. I think it’s because I’ve been therapized. I’m American that way. And the therapized Cubanita just doesn’t think to tell the kid she’s gonna get zoomed across the room. In a way, that’s a shame. Sumbar is a great word.