When Too Much Computer Time Makes you Suck at What Matters Most
So, I was at Blissdom this weekend, and the aim was to soak up as much knowledge about the blogging, writing, social media, advertising, and blog whoring as possible.
But, in truth, I had another agenda as my prime focus.
To ask women who are focusing on making money online Just How in The Ever Living Hell they balance the constant pull the of computer with kids, husbands and toilet cleanings.
I am here admitting I am woefully lacking in setting strong limits on computer time. My kid has told me I don’t play with her enough. She has told me I am on the computer ALL.THE.TIME.
And, I am.
Now, I have taken steps to remove myself from the computer more, and my obvious lack of regular of posts here is evidence that I am making strides. However, I still work over at the Tiki Tiki and I have private PR and copy writing clients and all that requires I sit on my culo a lot. And, of course, I am the production, office, shipping and customer service departments of Los Pollitos Dicen.
There’s always one more e-mail to write, one more post to edit, one more Tweet to send. But, if I died tomorrow, you, dear reader, may leave a comment here, or if you know me for reals post a link on your Facebook status. My demise may end up as a Tweet, even. But, my husband and only child would not be giving too much of a crap about whether I posted enough.
So, I have been struggling to make it all work.
How to I continue to build something for myself, something I love and adore, without sucking as a mother and a wife?
Turns out few of us who are blogging full-time have got it all together. At least that is the feedback I got from the women I hung with at Blissdom. They wanted more on the topic, they wanted the speakers with successful, money-making blogs to tell them exactly how in the hell they manage to produce content, make a living, nourish their families and themselves. One panelist said she realized there were days she didn’t look into her small child’s eyes because she was online and Tweeting. WTF? Sadly, too many of us would have to nod in agreement.
For the record, I know if I was working for someone else, I also would be complaining and whining about lack of time…but, in my fantasy land, the fact I work for myself should translate into clean closets and time for mani-pedis.
OK, OK, blah blah blah on my part.
Are you online too much? Not sure? Read the wonderful Angelica Perez’s post Is Your Time on the Internet Impacting Your Children? Powerful Ways to Find Out and What to Do.
Now, I’m going to go play with my puppy.
Screw the tweeting.
xo
Yup. I am online too much. I just wrote a post about it today.
I mean I am wondering the same thing. How do you keep up with blogs, tweets, AND housework?
I spent the last 2 days really cleaning my kitchen, organizing cupboards and such no blogging time.
I have been putting posts out daily just NOT commenting ALL the time on other blogs. It shows on my posts. Not as many comments.
I will not give up on blogging. Just slow down a bit.
Its ok if I don’t post everyday.
I have a life. AND a family.
But I wanna post once a day. That’s great. I just can’t comment on ALL of you. There are too many.
I get you. Now just how do I do it? That’s the hard part.
:)
this is me. i don’t blog full time but i make a living online and i die a little bit each time i hear myself reflexively saying, “not this minute honey, i have to finish this pattern/email/lesson plan/whatever.”
i don’t have a solution yet. :( but i’m working on it, and i think it might involve less of something. LOL
Can you direct me to a coolisimo icon I can add to my blog to link back to your store? Let me know.
I’m so glad I got a chance to meet you at Blissdom and discuss this very subject for a few minutes.
I’m not sure I walked away from the conference with any solutions, but I definitely felt like I wasn’t the only one struggling with it.
My current goal is to get a little ahead on my blog schedule, so I don’t HAVE to do it that day/night and miss an opportunity with my family. Ultimately, I want to feel like I’m running the blog and the blog isn’t running me.
Carrie,
I don’t know that I have much to offer here except that I love the post, and I loved talking with you at Blissdom.
Here I am commenting on your post at 12:30 when I should have been asleep at least 2 hours ago. But I was up writing a post because I couldn’t get to it earlier because I was helping daughter with homework late because I had to coach her cheerleading practice tonight, and we didn’t have time to do homework before practice because we had to leave early to meet Daddy for dinner so he could bring the boys back home.
Whew.
And that’s the story of my life. I don’t feel that I necessarily spend too much time on the computer nor too much time doing “stuff.” But the here, there, and everywhere is wearing me out!
I know that part of my problem is lack of discipline and procrastination. If I could address those issues, I think I’d be more productive (generally) and not feel as overwhelmed all the time.
Eh, maybe I’ll get around to it tomorrow. ;)
We call it living in the tension…trying to balance it all! We want to model for our kids pursuing our passion, but don’t want to sacrifice the time we have with them. It’s a precarious line we teeter on!
Wanted to let you know you are fancy and fabulous! We featured you on our #Fancy Friday post! http://www.lovefeasttable.com
Thanks for being you!
-Kristin and Chris Ann
Ouch!
You nailed it.
My job and blog both require the computer. I do miss so much. No kidding, I was in front of a computer over 13 hours yesterday.
I think my kids are in jr. high and high school. Or are they in college already? I’m not sure, I better go check. When I find them I’m going to look into their eyes, try to cop a hug, and commit to doing that at least every day, ok, I’m even going to attempt a dialog with each of them as well: ) Then I’m going back to the computer to Craigslist to find someone to clean the toilets.LOL.
Thank you for the reality check. SO GREAT meeting you @ Blissdom!
Hey there, gracias a el Google Buzz for putting this on my radar. Story of my life, as I’m sure you know by now (hence my disappearance). I thought I had something figured out on how to juggle an online life then baby #2 came along and that all went out the window. I gave up on balance and have been standing on the sidelines of the online world while living IRL. I’ll jump back in eventually.
Thank you for sharing your stories and validating the fact I am not the only one struggling…
I so appreciate hearing your comments.
Ladies, I met at Blissdom, it was my pleasure. You guys are fun and inspiring. (Everybody click on the links above…awesome blogs)
And Laura from Hollywood Housewife, you have the prettiest baby Ever.
Carla, welcome back and congratulate yourself for taking care of you and yours.
This. All of it. You. This is why I like you so much.
Great post, Carrie. There is always one more thing to do and in the scheme of things, none of it matters very much, does it?
I hear ya. I find myself asking that question a thousand times a day. Things that I am doing so I don’t get caught in the everyday-all-the
-time blog world. I only post a couple of days a week (believe me this has been hard) and I don’t tweet. I’ve been asked so many times why? And told I will loose out on readers that way and so on…but truth is, that is just one more thing that will keep me away from my little ones, and wasn’t the whole point of me staying/working from home so I could do just that? So, I know this will not bring in the millions of dollars I wish it would (dreaming here), but I’m okay with that (I think).
I’ve been off the radar for a while, and have come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be the Latina Dooce. I really, really love teaching English, and I would miss it so if I were exclusively online. So for me, it’s not a requirement. And that’s what I have to remind myself of every now and then: it’s not a requirement. My kids? Totally worth every minute I put into them. The internet? Not so much.
(And sorry I haven’t been reading lately- your feed doesn’t show up in my mailbox…:( )
OK, so I am glad that I am not the only one complaining/worrying about all this…Thank you for backing me up on it.
We can only try to get it right, right?
(Evenshine, I stroll your blog from time to time and I always hate that I don’t read as much …love what you do…and sorry about my feed. Weird. Maybe it messed up when I switched to wordpress?)
I am ALWAYS on the computer. I take measures to make sure that I’m not on it too long.
I try to do a couple quick checks in the morning, then I’m off to my desk to make art, while my little one watches videos on the computer. Then we play, then we eat, then we make art together, or she watches me and makes her own art right next to me.
Or we go out.
I try.