Maria says:

“Ay, carajo, it’s hot!”

Guat?

And then, I realize. We’ve been listening to the soundtrack from the musical, In the Heights — love and hope in Latino Washington Heights.  The line my kid so expertly and correctly gave me from the back seat comes from the song “Paciencia y Fe” and sung by an elderly Cuban abuela.

I go into a nervous laugh. I explain that “carajo” is not the most polite word. It means “damn,” which we don’t use, alright beba?

But, I tell her the truth: Her Cubans use it a lot. Hell, if we lived in Miami, she would learn that her relatives use it at least a dozen-and-a-half times a day, for emphasis, for cursing, even for expressing delight. Her people carajo, carajo, carajo all.the.time.

But little girls in Tennessee, and even in Miami, aren’t supposed to use carajo.

Unless they’re singing an award-winning song of patience and faith in their very own kitchen.

Too bad, really. Because, carajo, she sounded so cute when she said it out of the blue, and oh so appropriately. Porque de verdad hay un calor del carajo here right now.

Calor! Calor! Calor!

The opening lyrics of Paciencia y Fe, from Lin-Manuel Miranda’s wonderful play, which we saw in Nashville this year.

Calor! Calor! Calor!
Calor! Calor! Calor!
Ay Mama!
The summer’s hottest day
Paciencia y fe
Paciencia y fe
Ay carajo, it’s hot!
But that’s okay
Mama would say,
“Paciencia y fe”

And the delightful Carnaval del Barrio, which we sing on a daily basis. We especially love to sing the line: Since when are Latin people scared of heat? And we get really, really loud when it is time to alza la bandera.

Mojito in a Bag, $1.99!

I am not sure why I am surprised to find Spanish language goods in local stores. Maybe because when I was growing up, the Spanish seemed insulated to the Miami and North Jersey zips where I lived out a bilingual life.

I think it was two years ago that I got all sentimental in the Wal-Mart Hispanic foods section when I found the squeeze bottle of leche condensada. Maybe I am so shocked because this is Nashville, after all, and a thousand years ago when I landed here, none of the Spanish I see and hear around me was even remotely possible.

So, when I see something in Spanish that surprises me, I snap a picture. (It goes with that whole retroacculturation post I wrote recently, I guess.)

That door mat up there with “Casa” on it was in a local Lowe’s hardware store. I did a double take and cared not that people saw me taking a picture of a door mat.

I was amazed yesterday by this sign. It was at the Mall of Green Hills, an upscale mall with a Tiffany, a Betsey Johnson, a Louis Vuitton, and other places where my credit card is not allowed. A sign in Spanish — advertising a federal emergency preparedness web site — is just not what one expects in 37205. (I was there looking for a dress for my high school reunion y nada! Everything I tried on said “Trying Too Hard” or “Cougar.” But, that’s another post…)

Best Buy Gift Cards in Spanish

Best Buy Spanish Thank You Gift Card.

I guess people can continue to get angry over “Press 2 for English” but by the looks of it, the gente who sell stuff are pretty damned happy that we know what “Oprima el Uno” means.

Have you noticed all the Spanish/Latino/Hispanic stuff multiplying?

You know what we did? We chopped Mami’s name off on second attribution. So, if the guy’s name was Jose Perez Prado (’cause I can’t remember the real name), we used Perez the next time he was quoted in the story. And no doubt we did 100 different other versions in subsequent stories, and of course how we did it depended on whom was writing the story and whom was editing it. I have no idea what the policy is these days, as I have long since fled the newsroom. But, I bet plenty of the Latinos in town now know that the Americans don’t understand the two last names thing and they only give one during interviews.

Which brings me to this book: René Has Two Last Names/René Tiene Dos Apellidos, a bilingual children’s book about a boy from El Salvador who teaches his American classmates why he has two last names. They come from his father’s side, and his mother’s side. Without both — Colato Laínez – he would feel like “a hamburger without the meat.”

The book is written by an author of the same name, René Colato Laínez. Colato Laínez, a teacher, has written several picture books including the award-winning I Am René, the Boy / Soy René, el niño. The author has told other bloggers during his book tour that he writes to preserve and celebrate his culture. As a child he longed for books about children like him — immigrant children with two cultures. And these days it is common for Latino parents to thank him for writing their story too.

His next book is The Tooth Fairy Meets El Raton Perez — American fairy meets her Latin American and Spanish counterpart, who happens to be a mouse. The release date is March. The author tells a hilarious and scary story about a child telling friends about the mouse who visits his house regularly and a teacher who believes the child is living in filth and needs to call social services. Hence, the idea for the book.

Now, I loved reading the René book to Maria — and she enjoyed it — because my American child of Latino descent has two last names too. Yes, we gave our child four names. In between her Middle Name and Paternal Last Name is her Maternal Grandmother’s Last Name. We did it to honor my grandfather, whom I loved and adored, and the strong, courageous and crazy Cubans in her bloodline.

Sometimes, I have wondered if we saddled her with too much nombre, but she says her name in a sing-song way and matter-of-factly to anyone who asks for her full name. She tells them that extra name comes from her mom’s abuelito.. And, I just stand there and grin.

So, we have appreciated René and his two last names around here. He has given us the opportunity to discuss how people in different countries name their children, and he’s given us more time to talk about members of our family she never got to meet, hear a little more about where they came from — a place so different from the one she calls home.

I can especially see how important this little book would be to children whose families have recently immigrated to the United States, and to the people they encounter at school, church and activities.

As much as I’m glad to have the book on our shelf, gotta tell you, I’m thinking of dropping off my copy of the book at my old newsroom. Just in case they’re having the same discussion from the ’90s.

Ojala que no.

OK, win a prize:

Leave a comment or question for the author and you will be eligible to win an autographed copy of RENÉ HAS TWO LAST NAMES/ RENÉ TIENE DOS APELLIDOS. Make sure you check back the following day to see if you won and for directions on how to receive your prize. The winner will be selected using Random.org.

This review is part of a virtual book tour sponsored by BronzeWord, a great resource for Latino books and authors.

(How many names do you have, by the way?)

But, among members of my mom’s group in Nashville — co-sleepers, Diva Cup-wearers, CSA members — I’m just a run-of-the-mill chick. It’s all about perspective and the lessons for me in this dual identity is that there’s always somebody more crunchy, and less crunchy, than thou.

That said, I probably do a lot of the stuff that you already do too: I use cloth bags for shopping, bake my own bread, read all labels (You get used to it when your child has a food allergy). I compost and recycle everything, mostly use natural shampoos (can’t quite break up with John Frieda yet), soaps and cleansers. I’ve tossed the deodorant with aluminum and the sippys with BPA. (Of course, after Maria had drank out of them goodness knows how many times.)

I don’t see any of these things we do as crunchy, by the way. Just common sense and a consideration for our health and our environment.

So, when my daughter was a toddler I tossed the rubber duck she liked to chew on because I suspected it was toxic. So, imagine what I thought when I received a book for review titled: Slow Death by Rubber Duck? The subtitle: The Secret Dangers of Everyday Things.

Ay, que grito!

The book has just been released in the U.S. Between the covers, I didn’t discover so much that I already didn’t know, or suspect. When I was pregnant, I loved the book Having Faith, which gives details about chemicals — like flame-retardant — that have invaded our bodies and our breastmilk.

But in this book by Rick Smith and Bruce Lourie, I got frightening details about the phthalates, lead, perfluorochemicals, triclosan, and other dangerous chemicals that are in everything from our plastic shower curtains, to our frying pans, to our children’s innocent-looking toys. (Remember the toy recalls of 2007? and what of the carcinogen cadmium in little girl’s jewelry now? It is more toxic than led, gente.)

Authors Smith and Lourie, both well-known Canadian environmentalists, conducted a non-scientific experiment they documented in the book. They locked themselves in a condo and used popular perfumed, chemical-laden everyday and common products. They microwaved food in plastic, sat on couches that had been sprayed with retardant and ate lots of tuna out of cans.

Their blood levels for most of the toxic chemicals in our environment went up. And the sad truth is, we as consumers would have a hard time avoiding most of the chemicals. Our food is processed and packaged in plastic, we like the ease of cooking on non-stick surfaces, we love the plastic shower curtain that can be tossed and cheaply replaced. And, seriously, personally can’t quite yet give up my bleach sink cleaner and the occasional use of pine-scented cleanser, which brings me joy joy memories of growing up cubanita. Progress, not perfection.

You can hear them next week on the Diane Rehm show and google them for other interviews and videos on YouTube.

The tough choices we face as consumers was highlighted in a passage that described the quandary one of the authors faced while buying ketchup: buy the organic in plastic, buy the local product that also came in plastic, or buy the non-organic international name brand packaged in the glass jar?

If you’re feeling your way through these issues about health, consumerism, green living and modern choices, grab this book. It will give you a better understanding, and a vocabulary, about the challenges we face as consumers who want products for ourselves and our children that will not potentially cause health problems — everything from cancers to diabetes to impaired brain function. Here’s a more detailed overview by chapter and if you don’t fee like getting a book, read these great Green blogs like the Smart Mama and Organic Mania.

OK, the down and dirty…here are some tips from the book:

1. Eat organic food, free of pesticides, which can cause cancer, impair immune and damage reproductive systems.
2. Avoid phthalates (tha-lates) which are found in PVC plastic and personal care items. The chemical makes plastic pliable and often is found in artificial fragrances. They mimic hormones and some scientists believe it is one reason why girls are menstruating at younger ages and linked to reproductive problems in men.
3. Replace non-stick pans with stainless steel or iron and say no to microwave popcorn, which are covered in perfluorinated chemicals (PFCs). They are linked to cancer and can be found in everything from furniture, clothing, carpets and fast food wrappers.
4. Grow your own vegetables and herbs to avoid pesticides.
5. Avoid flame retardants (polybrominated diphenyl ethers (PBDEs), which are found in furniture, mattresses, curtains, carpets and electronics. Instead use natural fibers such as wool, hemp, and cotton.
6. Eat fish in moderation to reduce exposure to mercury, a neurotoxin that harms the development of children. If you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant avoid all tuna, shark and swordfish. Smaller fish are safer than large fish.
7. Chuck the antibacterial soap, especially those with triclosan, which weakens the immune system and is suspected of causing cancer.
8. Get rid of anything in your house with BPA, or bisphenol A. The chemical found in plastics mimics estrogen and is linked to diseases such as breast cancer and diabetes. it is often found in plastic containers, baby bottles, reusable sports bottles and food can linings. Choose glass, non BPA plastics and pick fresh or frozen foods when possible.
9. Household cleansers often have chemicals in them that are unlabeled. Instead using harsh detergents try safer and cheaper alternatives such as baking soda, vinegar, vegetable oil and lemon juice.
10. Become an active consumer. Ask questions, read labels, call the company toll-free numbers

So, que dices tu, what are you doing to clean up the chemicals in your life?

When la Nena and I are in the car together, the radio is usually stuck on the XM Kid’s Place Live Channel. I like the station. They play Indie kid songs and rarely do any of the songs make me want to plug my ears. Exceptions being Happy Noodle vs Sad Noodle and anything, I mean anything, by Randy Kaplan. (No matter how cute he is…)

Every once in a while as a song comes on, I say “Oh! I love this song!”

Maria finally figured out what leads to my joy: “Mama, you say that when you hear a song from when you were young.”

Snagged.

Sometimes, the XM folks stick an oldie, like Stand by Me, into the playlist.

So it is no surprise that every time I make a new playlist for Maria on the iPod, I sneak in some music I love, and want her to learn too. When she was 2, she could sing practically all the songs on the Talking Heads’ Little Creatures album.

I just made this playlist for her and stuck in Let the Music Play by Shannon. Remember her? Or maybe you had to be a kid in Jersey in 1984? And of course, I had to stick Celia in there. I decided to leave out I Want Candy. That’s for Mami’s playlist.

Anyway, we’re really loving some of these songs, especially Because it’s There, Bowl of Cherries and the Los Lobos version of Heigh-Ho from their Disney album. And, I love when Maria sings the Kumbia Kings:

No tengo dinero
Ni nada que dar
Lo unico que tengo es amor para amar

These playlists are a way for me to sneak Spanish into our lives with more frequency, because let me tell you, I have fallen down on the Speak Spanglish job.

What are you listening to?

Some women inspire poetry, music, the construction of temples. War, even.

Me?

I inspire the creation of … headphones.

And,  not even totally me. My kid and her cabeza. I just happened to be there.

See these headphones by Griffin Technology? Well, a few weeks ago, I got a complimentary set because, well, my friend Web’s e-mail explains it:

“When we ran into each other in the Orlando airport year before last, watching you and your daughter mess with keeping adult-sized headphones on her head as she listened to an MP3 player inspired me to concept and pitch …  a volume-limiting, ultra-durable set of headphones … to our Product Dev people.  Two years later, we’ve finally gone live with MyPhones.  As you and your bambina were a big part of the inspiration behind them, I thought you’d be tickled to see how they turned out (much different than my first bad sketch, definitely).”

How freaking cool, si? (I’d soon like next to sit beside someone who designs big, giant diamond rings, OK, Universe?)

Griffin is based here in Nashville. When I ran into Web and his family at the Orlando airport during a very, very long delay, I  had not seen them in a long time, though we keep in touch via Twitter and Facebook. (Viva social media.)

So, Maria got to try out her new headphones during our Thanksgiving week flight. She loved them. I loved them. Because they limit the sound to a safe 85 decibles, I didn’t have to worry — or argue with her — about the noise level. They fit her head, unlike the cheap, adult ones we have used — the same ones Web saw — which slip off her ears and make it tough for her to wear them comfortably. She used them for the iPod and my netbook.

The carrying case includes pre-printed ear caps and some blank ones so she was able to draw on and personalize the headphones (she used two different designs, of course.) Maria also drew a field of flowers on the blank template to decorate the sturdy case. It’s one way of differentiating one kid’s headphones from another kid’s set, Web said, adding:

“We delivered lots of useful info on kids hearing safety without making the phones look dorky for kids.  I think the result is pretty cool.  And it all started with a full-sized pair of headphones, a kid-sized head and a three-hour delay in ORL.”

I read some reviews of the MyPhones this week. Overall, excellent. Some of the complaints were that kids would not get a good sound quality. Well, what I heard was great. (and, I’m not just saying that because I have a connection to them, and no, they did not pay me for this review.) The MyPhones fit her head, they were comfortable, and she could hear well. And, most of all, she was entertained. So, for us, they’re awesome. Cost: $39.99 or $26.09 via Amazon. Also available at your local neighborhood Target and Apple store.

And there you go…

The lesson for you  – if you’re not buying these for your nene this year — is careful whom you sit next to at the airport.

“It is now safe to turn on your electronic and hand-held devices.”

iPod on the plane! iPod for La Nena, actually — an expert flier who travels well but can color only for so long.

Before every trip we’ve taken for the last three years, I load the iPod with a few new kid-friendly songs (God Bless You, Dan Zanes and They Might be Giants) and at least a couple kiddie TV shows. It’s happy-making for all involved, let me tell you.

Unless, of course, the iPod battery fritzes out on you, like mine did on our trip a couple of weeks ago. Argh, carajo. It lasted for just a few minutes, cutting off Ruff Ruffman in a very rude sort of way. We had just taken off on the second leg of our flight North. Maria had colored enough on the first leg y yo de boba had put On the Banks of Plum Creek in the suitcase.

I pulled out my netbook and showed her how to “paint” while she listened to Exposé. Hey, ’80s pop is awesome whether you’re 6 or 42. Amen.

She got frustrated by my touchpad mouse. Here’s what I should have downloaded to the netbook as a back-up: The adventures of Pancho and Pita, playful bilingual trolls who just debuted in the cyberworlds.

The little guys — and their pet, Flan. Yes, Flan — were dreamed up by Raul, a Spanish-born computer programmer who often comments on the Boonie Blog, and his wife, Stephanie. The couple has a young son who inspired Pancho and Pita and the reading adventures, the first being ¿Dónde Están Los Pollitos? / Where Are The Chicks?”

That Raul, he knows I am a sucker for anything with Pollitos. So, a while back, he sent me a free copy of the adventure to let Maria test drive it. She got to decide where to look for the pollitos, thus making her part of the story. I kept marveling at the quality and being damned glad for a safe online game, and a bilingual English and Spanish one at that.

Ay, how I wished on that plane to have downloaded the story to the netbook.

From the press release: “We envisioned an innovative approach that would combine the best features from the existing products: the emotional and educational power of books, the fun of cartoons, and the interactivity of computer games,” Raul Fernandez said.

The Fernandez’s worked with language professionals, animators, voice actors and a music composer to create Pancho and Pita’s adventure and make their company, Palabra Media, a reality that meets the demands of a changing national demographic and interests.

I think it is great that the games/adventures/stories are available (more to come) with just one click. I am so That Kind Of Mami. Between iTunes, Amazon and the new family Netflixs, I’m conditioned to 1-Click it. (Wondering if that is evolution or devolution?)

Raul and Stephanie put their heart into a great quality product that promotes culture y cultura, education and fun. Go download. Support this entrepreneurial y nice Latino. You also can download this pancho and pita coloring PDF, among others and watch video.

And, if you ever hear a woman saying “Play with your Flan” on a plane, that is me.

Have you watched CNN’s Latino in America?

What did you think?

I watched it, and along with some other big mouths on the bilingual webosphere, I feel it focused too narrowly on Latinos in dire straights. I would have called the two-part series “Some Latinos in America.”

For reaction, you can watch the comic Mike Robles in this blistering and funny video speaking out about the series.

“Fifty-one million Latinos in America and this is the best you can do?” he asks.

Julio Varela, a Boston-based writer and marketer, asked for success stories on his blog to counter the depressing stuff. He got a lot of them. Here is an open letter to Soledad O’Brien by Nydia Teter (imagine the mail Soledad is getting!) and you can follow the tweets by searching #latinoinamerica. Also, here are some thoughts by prominent Latinos in America.

To me, the series focused too heavily on those at the very top and those at the very bottom — Willy Chirino versus 15-year-old illegal immigrant facing deportation.

The millions of Latinos in the middle? Not made for prime time TV news, apparently.

Now, I may be one of the few Cuban-Americans who likes CNN (they call it the Castro News Network in Miami), and I met with one of the show’s producers this past winter when he was here during Nashville’s English-Only vote. He was a very, very nice man, so I hope he forgives me my opinion.

So, while the racial and ethnic divide going on in Shenandoah, Pa. got highlighted on CNN, the story of Nashvillians resoundingly coming together to beat back a regressive (yes, that is my opinion) policy, didn’t get a second of play. In voting against an English-only government, Nashville showed the country that division must not always overshadow a changing community. It would have been nice to show viewers that people of all creeds worked their butts off to make sure Nashville voted against the caca resolution aimed so clearly against newly-arrived Latinos. CNN had footage.

Now, I am not being dismissive of the hard issues CNN covered. I care about the effects of illegal immigration and I care about Latinos new to this country who are struggling. My money is where my mouth is on that. I volunteer my time with, and give my charitable dollars to, a local non-profit who works solely with the Latino community in Middle Tennessee.

But, when you say “Latino in America,” the reality is that we’re not all struggling, and we haven’t all overcome something gigantic. We don’t wear fruit on our heads. We’re just average people whose roots extend to another country, people who pay their mortgage, raise their kids in the suburbs of Middle America, maybe speak a little Spanglish, and for some fluke of genetics are really, really good at shaking our colita when salsa plays.

The tongue-wagging online and on Twitter was about that…too many average, acculturated Latinos who didn’t see themselves reflected in something titled “Latino in America.”

But damn, how do you even really begin to capture it?

Good luck to the next news crew who tries.