The cover story in USA Today yesterday was about the escalating stress Americans are dealing with — stress due to the recession and uncertainty. What caught my attention most was this passage about how Hispanics deal with “el ehstress.”
Hispanics take it hard
The particularly poor emotional health of Hispanics may be caused by cultural qualities as well as their economic roles, according to experts.
Although women overall have higher depression rates than men, Hispanic women have the highest rates of all women, says Caroline Clauss-Ehlers of Rutgers University, a bilingual psychologist who counsels many Hispanic families in New York. Latinos take great pride in caring well for their families, “and if you’re the mother, and the family isn’t doing well, a lot of the women feel they’re to blame,” she says.
Hispanic men and women feel shame if they can’t take good care of their families — a hard act when the economy is nose-diving. This shame can prompt people to isolate themselves, keeping anguish private so they don’t get the support they need, Clauss-Ehlers says.
Here’s what it brought up for me. I spend a lot of time telling my Mami things like: No te metas, no es tu problema, no te preocupes, todo va a salir bien, don’t imagine the worst, it’s all going to be OK, one day at a time. (Yes, it pisses her off, but sometimes she listens to me. Right, Mami?)
My grandmothers too spent a lot of time worrying about things, real and imagined, about things that never came to pass. (And, I got plenty of despojos from my great-grandmother just in case someone gave me the Evil Eye.)
A passage in Carmen Agra Deedy’s ”Growing up Cuban in Decatur, Georgia.” was about her trying to explain to her mom — helpful to all – what co-dependence was. It was hilarious and her Mami said something like “Are you going to tell me Jesus was co-dependent too?” (I am quoting that from memory, so it is just the jist of it.)
I think those of us born and raised here may be evolving out of this particularly Latin thing called over-worry. I don’t see the hyper-vigilance so much in my American-born Latina friends.
Are you noticing this too? Do you think this is true, or am I just hanging with a lot of Latina/o posers?
And by the by, I am in no way saying that worrying about your family’s economic situation is excessive. What I am struck by is the psychologist’s quote about Hispanic women taking on the blame when things are not right in the family and having highest rates of depression among all women.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!!!! I sooooo agree with you. I agree with the overwhelming amount of worry that I feel from my Mami. I’m not sure if it’s tied to shame of not being able to take care of the family. I think it’s really simply based on fear of something ‘bad’ happening.
I don’t know if this is in any way at all a viable theory, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’m from El Salvador, moved here in 1981. Obviously my country was at war. I believe that there was fear embedded in our culture for so long that it’s really hard to let go of the fear that something bad is going to happen, especially when it’s about anything having to do with government. We were dis empowered for so long. Something ‘bad’ always happened for so long, that even when you move away from it, even if it’s been so many years, that powerlessness is still somehow deeply resonating in our psyche.
I’ve chosen to break the pattern. I refuse to live in fear and worry like my Mom. She has even threatened, ‘ya vas a ver’ because now I have a daughter and I’ll be just as worried. I choose to NOT. I’m not sure if she’ll ever stop with the CONSTANT worry, but I refuse to let that vibration stay within me. It’s time to break that cycle. I do not want my daughter to be afraid like I was growing up. Geez! That fear kept me from claiming the wonderful life that I have right now for so many years!
Great Post!
Great post – thanks for sharing. I also read in a recent news article that men have been having a lot of mental anxiety and increased depression due to the economic situation today – I can only imagine men of Hispanic decent only getting hit harder. It’s the machismo and weighing concern that they’re not bringing home enough for their families. In some cases it’s driving them kookoo
Elsie, good for you for breaking the pattern! Fear is a killer — of spirit and body. And NYOfficeMom, it would be interesting to read more about the Latino men.